a rant, of sorts.

I've created an unbearable situation.

I'm in love with someone who cannot love me the way I need him to. We've been together so long that I have no idea how to be without him. And yet, a part of me knows that I should be on my own, learning about myself. I just can't get myself to leave him. He says he loves me, but he has too many other things going on in his life to be there for me every time I need him. I understand this and try to accept it, but I'm hurt constantly. I just want him to show me that he loves me completely and entirely. I show him everyday...in everything that I do, I'm thinking of him. I try three times harder than I normally would to make up for his lack of attentiveness. Or something like that. Honestly, I have no idea what to do now. I hate ranting when there's a possibility that someone will see this and think I'm just some whiny little girl. (Is that really how you spell "whiny"?)

I guess I'm using this thing more than I thought.

Until next time.

an explanation, I suppose.

So I'm a journalism student. You probably got that from the title. I used to write a lot...poems, short stories, etc. But throughout high school the added class writing took away from personal writing time, so I sort of fell out of the habit. Now I'm in college, and I'm afraid my writing has gotten bland. I started this blog because I figured it would be a place to just write to vent, and work on my skills without an agenda. I have a feeling I won't really keep up with it on a regular basis, but at least I'll have a place to vent.

Well let's see...right now I'm at my parent's house. I'm done with classes for the semester, and I'm going back to take my 4 finals on Monday and Tuesday, and then I'm done until January 21st, I think. I'm moving into a new place with my best friend for the semester. I have a fairly difficult schedule, but I'm excited for it. I'm thinking of it as a new start; I have a tendency to mess things up the first time around. I go into things head-first, thinking only good thoughts, but then everything just falls apart, and I have to pick up the pieces and start over.

Thanks to myself, I'm now feeling miserable. I think it's because it gets dark so early in the winter - I like sunshine.

Good-bye for now.